Sam
Twin Souls, One Heart, A Single Breath Apart.
Samuel
Samuel is my most precious and beloved son. He is my twin flame, the other half of my heart, my only child in this world. We are NOW but a single breath apart. This one breath places a realm between us that even with the connection we share is universes apart. I believe it was Don Juan in the books by Carlos Castaneda who said regarding the loss of his son, he felt a devastation that was crushing. Even for those of us who walk with gifts of connection, this does not eradicate the anguish of losing a child. In some ways, it can be more excruciating.
How do I describe my son? He was and is such a beautiful and remarkable being. An old, old soul. He is light. He is love. He struggled here in many ways that paralleled my own. His heart is as big as the sun. Thus he felt too much at times and spoke with me often of the intensity of this world. With great gifts come great responsibility.
From a very young age, he carried the wisdom of the sages. He radiated presence and gentleness. When he was about 4 years old, I sat with him and asked him if he wanted to learn about the main chakra systems in the body and the colors and energetics they carry. He looked up at me with his big blue eyes and rattled off all of the colors of the chakras in rapid succession and in perfect order from root to crown. My heart was overcome with the beauty of his being.
Why would I share such a profound sadness on my website? A site which is about healing, trusting and Re-Connecting to one’s Path of the Heart? Because, this life is not all about “flowers and fairies” as my son used to tell me. It can be damned brutal and insanely difficult to navigate at times.
I have to take each breath as I am breathed knowing that I must continue my soul work for my son, with my son and for myself as a message of profound hope and healing. It is my path of heart. We do not die. We change form and are held within The Soul of the World which carries us all. The bond between my son and I is unbreakable,
SAM does NOT belong to me. I was the most honored vessel for his entry into this world. We have no ownership of anything. I am so blessed and gratified to be the mother of this most beloved being. I would not trade it for all of this world or the next, even with the heart break, void and emptiness without him physically here. I have learned how to chop wood and carry water in a new way within a new version of myself. We each have our own journey.
A Pilgrimage across parts of France and Spain in the Winter continued emptying me, opening channels through the silence, emptiness, loss and pain. Mantras repeated within over and over, step after step brought back my ability to hear and speak with my son. I was also able to see him at times. This gave me the strength to continue onward. He would give me messages that would unfold day after day after day.
Moments with Sam
